now that i've ranted a bit (previous post) and watched the episode 'sick & tired' of golden girls, where Dorothy is diagnosed with the same disease i have Fibromyalgia (they call it chronic fatigue syndrome in the episode but its the same thing) and had a couple good tear ups because i know EXACTLY what it is like to sit there and have the doctor act like you're making it up, like you're some sort of hypochondriatic neurotic and tell you 'well you shouldn't be this sore so clearly you're not ACTUALLY this sore, you're just making it up and/or its all in your head' instead of what they SHOULD be saying which is 'sorry, i'm not sure whats causing you this pain, we can't identify the problem/source and until we can you will just have to try & adapt your life to living with it. rest when you need to, eat healthy, exercise & stretch often, try to eliminate stress when possible...generally take as good a care of yourself as possible & adapt your life to your new circumstances' if they would say that we would be SOOOOO relieved, we would feel so much better. At leas you wouldn't be making us feel like we're more insane than we really are. I also know what its like to have the doctor just dismiss you like you're wasting their precious time just because THEY can't identify whats wrong with you...you NEVER blame the victim, thats a BIG no no.
I've decided that since Blaine has long class today and wont be back until after 4pm i'm going to watch a few tear jerker movies and have some good crying because all this sad needs to get vented or i'm litterally GONNA EXPLODE. I'm so upset, sad, depressed & distressed that if i don't get some of it out i'm gonna start lashing out at the slightest provocation, and thats NEVER good (especially when i don't have a good handle on myself to begin with). So i'm gonna go pick some nice sad movies to enjoy and curl up and vent some of this excess.
on a side note i DESPERATELY need software that will allow me to speak into a mic and it will type what i'm saying, anyone know of such software? because my arthritis is getting so bad that i have SERIOUS trouble typing but its such a vital part of my day to day (its vital part of most peoples day to day)...damn my arms & wrists :(
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