so over the past year & a half or so i have been emursing myself in a personal study of gay culture, particularly here in Portland, to better aide me in my transition into masculinity. I pass full time (as long as i don't shave lol...or i'm not being approached from behind :P) and my mannerisms are more gay-man than uber-fem these days. The biggest obsticale i've had, particularly since i'm in a poly relationship & thusly the following behavior is acceptable, is picking up on other guys. I've NEVER been good at the whole casual dating thing, theres just SOOOOO much foot work involved, it just seems like an awful lot of hassle to get some booty (especially when i have a readily available supply ya know) so why bother right?
But occassionaly i'll see someone who strikes my interest (like yesterday on the bus, there was a guy who was my type to a T: mid height to tall, lean, nice features, blue eyes, glasses, bookish, slacks & a green sweater over a white collared shirt & a tan over coat, either a PSU student or possible young prof. as he had a psu logo on his book bag. he kept looking in my direction, i'm sure he looked right at me more than once and i get all flustered, i smiled though :D he was GORGEOUS) i have NO CLUE what to do, if one approaches me & tries to talk to me my tongue basically goes numb :P. I wasn't any better at it as a chick either lol :P though i do believe i was a lot more forward, that or people just told me i was very forward because i was a girl & the behavior seemed out of place.
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